


Compound and Alloy

by Ballycastle_Bat



Series: Flashclub [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Barry Allen, Bisexual Male Character, Doctor Tommy Merlyn, Emergency Medical Technicians, Flashclub - Ship, Loss, M/M, Medical Examination, Oliver Queen is Dead When The Story Starts, Prompt: Different Powers, Stitches, Tommy Merlyn Lives, Was supposed to be for Barry Allen Week but I fail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ballycastle_Bat/pseuds/Ballycastle_Bat
Summary: When Tommy Merlyn was sixteen, he fell in love with Barry Allen. It was somewhere between their deep talks and Barry's soft touches that came while patching him after after the latest fight. Which was usually started in an attempt to rescue Barry, who was of course, attempting to rescue someone else.Senior year, tragedy strikes. Grief stricken and guilt ridden, Tommy flees north with a deep hole in his chest that he has no idea how to close. Until something in his bones tells him to return home. To see Barry again.The next time Barry sees his old friend, years have passed with little to no contact. He looks so different, and heisdifferent in a way. Older, wiser, and his beard finally filled out, as Barry would tease him about. Tommy can't shake old feelings, but once he gets close enough to voice them, tragedy strikes, and Tommy fears he may lose one of the only friends he has left.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Tommy Merlyn
Series: Flashclub [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595632
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. A Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> [[Warnings: At the end of each chapter  
> Prompt: Barry Allen Week 2019, day 4 "Different Powers"  
> Notes: Shoutout to Sexywitch for dealing with my out of context plot blurbs and beta reading for me! 😂]]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Tommy are both in very different places with Oliver's death, and Tommy decides it's time to return home.

**Rush Medical Center: Chicago, IL. Uncharted Earth.** **  
** **Time: 3:35 AM**

Thomas Merlyn sat in the unsettlingly quiet E.R. That was unusual for this time of night. He felt a bit deflated, he pulled out his cellphone and looked at the lock screen. He and his best friend (or was it former now?) showed on the screen, one arm thrown over Tommy's shoulder. Their heads leaned together. They hadn't _really_ talked in years.

Why would they? After Tommy took off like he did while they were both grieving, he couldn’t even remember the last time he spoke to Barry more than a handful of texts spread over months. It was maybe five years ago that he'd heard his voice last. 

"Is that a boyfriend, Merlyn?" Betty, an older nurse in her fifties, asked with a soft smile. She had always been a bit intrusive in Tommy's love life, but everyone was. Tommy couldn't keep a relationship for more than a few days. Something in him just couldn't find himself attached to people that way, at least, not how he felt with Barry. This story isn’t about Tommy Merlyn though.

It’s about Barry Allen, and how Tommy fell for him. Hard. It's also about the mess he made.

Barry Allen had always been the underdog. Skinny and slim, could tell you anything you could possibly want to know about chemistry, with big glasses and clumsy limbs. Tommy had also once affectionately noted that he was one of the few people who could pull off a bowtie. He was your typical Hollywood nerd. Without the more negative stereotypes. Maybe that was why Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen took him under their wing. 

They were the same in some ways, they’d both lost their mothers at a young age, the only difference being Barry had claimed something impossible was responsible. That, along with his strong moral compass, painted a target on his back. Kids were always cruel. Maybe Tommy protected him because it could have been him, maybe he just knew how it felt. Tommy wasn’t sure, he was always impulsive as a kid.  
  
One day, when Barry had ended up in a scuffle he had no hope of winning—especially when his glasses had been knocked to the ground—Tommy intervened. He sat with Barry while the school nurse patched him up. Later, Barry helped him with his science homework. At first, Barry had said he’d owe him one, but what started out as a settling a debt molded into a tight-knit friendship.   
  
There were things Barry Allen just understood that Oliver, no matter how much he cared about Tommy, could never understand.  
  


They bonded throughout high school, Barry introducing him to interests Tommy never even knew he could have. Turns out Tommy is crazy about Mars. He loves astronomy, but Mars is his favourite. 

**Central City Police Department. Central City, MO.** **  
** **Time: 5:35 AM**

  
Barry, now the assistant CSI at CCPD, had many fond memories of his friend Tommy. They had confided in each other about their losses and what they wanted from the future. The two had stayed close through their high school years, Tommy repeatedly getting Barry out of many unsavoury situations, and Barry always patching him up the best he knew how right after.  
  
Barry could still remember one night when he had to patch Tommy up. Barry remembered the evening so clearly, seeing the nasty cut on Tommy’s lip and some scraped knuckles, how he had washed the dirt from Tommy’s knuckles and put pressure on his cheekbone to stop the bleeding there. “Your face has a lot of vascular tissue, so it bleeds more.” Barry had informed him without missing a beat.

Barry remembered how Tommy’s smile was always capable of taking his breath away. “Can I get that in English, please? Not all of us can be nerds.” He spoke with so much affection that Barry had an easy time letting his word choice slide.

The crime lab was silent, but he was still there, dealing with some samples as well as his own side projects. He was extremely interested in the impossible and was running some tests on a mysterious substance he found during his recent trip to Maine.  
  
Even officer West, his best friend since childhood, had gone home for the night. She was a workaholic just like her father, though Barry loved her for it though. It was actually on Joe West’s recommendation letter that he got this job in the first place, or so he’d always thought.  
  
The crime lab door opened and within a few seconds, Iris was kissing his cheek and giving him a to-go cup of Jitters coffee. “Please don’t tell me you were here all night,” she sighed.  
  
“Wow, I get coffee and a kiss? Someone is in a good mood.” Barry laughed awkwardly. They’d always had a sort of banter, but Iris didn’t want to play today.  
  
Iris frowned. “I’m worried about you,” she admitted, biting her lip. “You haven’t been yourself. You haven’t talked to me in ages.” She didn’t want Barry to pull back as he often did when pushed too hard.

“I was just thinking about Oliver,” Barry hesitantly admitted. He didn’t want Iris to worry about him staying in the past. He had done enough of that with his focus on his mother’s case.  
  
To his surprise, Iris nodded and gave him another kiss on the head, remaining close sliding her arm around his shoulders. “Oh,” she sighed. “It’s been about six years now, hasn’t it?”  
  
Barry just nodded his head once. “Yeah. It’s just been in the back of my mind. His birthday is coming up and I was thinking about seeing if the Queens needed anything.” Barry quickly shook his head and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “Right, well, lunch today? It’s my turn to treat you.” 

The room was silent for a few seconds. “I have class, but I will keep you posted.” She seemed hesitant like she didn’t want to leave, which was normal, he supposed. He couldn’t think of a time that they had ever left each other in a bad state. The two had been through thick and thin since high school. 

And the day they met was so clear in his memory, Barry thought Iris looked like an elven princess. She’d laughed and remarked that she’d hoped that was a compliment. They were closer than most of the people in their lives. He was sure that Iris had always known him better than Tommy did--not that he compared them.  
  
Iris had lost her mother as well, but she seemed to have become more at peace with it than Barry. He had a killer to catch. Justice was yet to be served for his mother. 

* * *

_Once during their Junior year, Barry and Tommy were lounging on the sofa at the West house._ _Iris had just left her spot from where she was sitting close to Barry,_ _legs across his lap with no care in the world_ _, with Tommy on his other side._ _Where she’d vanished to, Tommy hadn’t paid attention to._

_"You and Iris have a weird relationship," Tommy said._

_Barry turned his head towards him. "What do you mean?" He didn't see anything wrong with the interaction. Sure she had been sitting rather close against Barry but it wasn't weird for him in any way._

_"You’re so close. Iris was sitting on you. That's weird."_

_Barry cocked a brow at him. "I mean … yes? She wasn't_ sitting _on me but I don't know what's weird about that."_

_"Thea doesn't even sit on my lap anymore."_

_Barry laughed a little. "Okay?"_

_Tommy shrugged his shoulders. "I just can't really imagine being that touchy with someone."_

_Barry shrugged again. "It's easy for us. We were always close friends as kids." Barry remembered something in his attempt to brush off his closeness to Iris, it was natural to him. "Oh, before Joe gets home can you ask your dad if you can stay for dinner?"_

_Tommy shot him a wicked grin. "Already trying to introduce me to your father, Allen? What is this, a date?"_

_Barry's smile turned down into a frown. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise your dad was a touchy subject for you. I won't bring him up again.” He made a quick pause before asking, “Are you staying?"_

_Tommy stopped. "I don't know what you mean."_

_"You always make jokes at sensitive times," Barry said as he tried to empathize with Tommy._

Tommy Merlyn sat up in his bed and looked around his tiny studio apartment. Of course, he dreamt of Barry. Not that he ever had before. He had been missing him a lot more in the last few weeks.

Something was telling him to go back to Central City, so he packed a bag and left. Just like that, in the middle of the night.

* * *

By some strange twist of fate, Tommy cut down a side road in Central while looking for a hotel. His bright high beams fell on a group of three men, who seemed to be in some kind of altercation. He brought the car to a screeching stop, close to the group, which gave them a bit of a scare as they jumped back. Tommy stepped out, squinting into the night.

The first thing that came into focus was the unmistakable form of Barry Allen. _Of course_ . He sighed. He’d only been in town a few minutes and he found Barry in the middle of a fight. “Barry, get in the car.” He huffed, slammed the door behind him, throwing himself into the fight full force. It was as easy as breathing, throwing himself between Barry and a problem was still so second nature to him, even after being apart for so many years.  
  
Barry was confused, but he decided not to take chances and dove under one of the guys, subconsciously trusting Tommy. He watched through the windshield as Tommy got into the scuffle, fists flying all over the place; he had a hard time tracking the situation.  
  
When Tommy returned to the car he floored it into reverse. “Are you okay?” he asked, breathing ragged.  
  
Barry was too high on adrenaline to access the damage. He slowly caught his breath, but remained unsure of what to say. “What brings you to town?”  
  
“Would you believe me if I said _you_ ?” Tommy glanced at him briefly before his eyes snapped back to the road.  
  
He sat on the question for a few seconds too long. “No.”

Tommy managed to get Barry back to his apartment, and to his surprise, Barry allowed him inside. It was more of a “Are you coming in, or not?” but that was still an invitation. Tommy moved around to his trunk and grabbed his medical bag. He followed Barry upstairs to the tiny apartment.  
  
The kitchen and dining area were in one small room, beside a living room area with a small loveseat and a television. Nothing in this apartment felt lived in. It wasn’t like Barry’s room in high school that had a million things hanging on the room and trinkets on the shelves.  
  
“Where’s your Bigfoot footprint?”  
  
Barry shrugged. “It’s at Joe’s.” 

  
“And he didn’t throw it out?”  
  
“No.”

“Well, are you going to let me take a look at your face?” He set his medibag on the kitchen table.  
  
“I don’t know what you can do, but sure. Have a look.” He huffed and dropped his messenger bag on the table beside the medibag before collapsing into the chair. 

Tommy looked at the patch on his bag. He gestured to the swatch of rainbow, it was hard to miss, the flag patch with the bisexual symbol inside was blatant. “This why those guys were beating up on you?”

Barry didn’t say anything.  
  
Tommy sat down across from him, starting to assess the damage. There was a thin gash on his left cheek. Gently turning his face made him wince. “Is that a yes? What happened, Barr?”

Barry’s eyes narrowed, not in anger but in scrutiny. He desperately searched for an angle or some sort of hint that Tommy was messing around. His heart pounded against his chest as he tried to figure out what was going on. The adrenaline hadn’t left his blood yet which didn’t help his strong desire to rush out the door of his own apartment.

“They were beating up on some kid on his way home.” Barry began. “Wanted his wallet, I intervened, they wanted to know what I was going to do about it, so I ended up figthing them.”

Tommy heaved a heavy sigh and turned to open his bag. “ _Of course you did_ .” That was typical Barry, throwing himself into the first signs of injustice. “How come you never told me?” his voice was casual. “About that.” He nodded to the bag before pulling out an instant cold pack. When it was ready, he carefully pressed it to Barry’s face.  
  
Barry winced as he felt the cold on the newly forming bruise. “You were bigger than me.”  
  
“ _Were_?” Tommy teased, but then grew serious when Barry glared. 

“What? Do you really think I would have beaten you up or something?” He wasn’t sure what to make of that, especially considering how close they were. Didn’t Barry just know?

There were always things Barry knew that Tommy never had to say. When Tommy was anxious, or when he was tired. Barry just _knew_ . He was so sure other things were obvious too, like his feelings.  
  
Barry shrugged his shoulders. “Only Iris knew for a while.”

  
Tommy nodded in understanding. “I’m Bi, but I never really … came out. It’s hard to come out when you don’t have anyone in your life.” He gave one half-hearted laugh. “I wasn’t really pursuing anyone either. So it never … came up. Is that weird?”  
  
“No, it’s not weird.” Barry looked away, but a firm hand guided him to look forward again.

  
“If you look down I won't be able to stitch this right,” his tone annoyed.  
  
“Don’t give me a tone. I’m the one who gets to be mad at you.” Barry nearly spat. “You barely text me for five years? But I’m still your screen saver. Also, why do you have a medical kit with you?”

Hands, steadied with time and practice began to wipe down the area around the slice in Barry’s eyebrow. “This is pretty bad.” Barry made a slight hiss as Tommy applied a numbing agent; the action stung which was expected. “So, what I’m going to do, is give you four stitches here. Unless you want me to take you to a plastic surgeon?”  
  
“I don’t want a plastic surgeon touching me,” Barry quipped. “What makes you assume I can afford that anyway?”  
  
Tommy stopped and leaned back a little. “Then let me stitch this up, okay? Then you can yell at me or whatever you’re going to do.”

Barry crossed his arms but turned his head so Tommy had better access to the gash. It was going to be a long night, and he didn’t want to be arguing for most of it. So he shut up for now.  
  
Barry registered only touch and tugging as Tommy cleaned up the wound. It took all of ten minutes. “You’re finished, there. Now you can get pissed at me.” The impish grin Tommy shot Barry with the words that didn’t help things.  
  
“Where have you been?”

“Chicago.”  
  
“For what?”

“Medical school, I’m in Emergency Medicine. Just finished my residency.”

Barry stared at him. "I knew that," he said, the admission coming easier than he expected. “Wanted to see if you would lie.”

Tommy leaned back in his chair slightly. "How did you know that?"

"I just checked your name once in a while to make sure you weren't dead," he said. His tone was almost defensive as he moved through to the kitchen. “Do you want some coffee? I’m running on empty.”  
  
Tommy nodded once. “Sure, thanks Barr.” His lips turned up in a slight smile.  
  
Barry went over to the coffee maker, trying to avoid looking at Tommy. The room fell silent once Barry caught Tommy staring at him. Barry hadn’t changed at all, and Tommy could see that clearly. He was still that sweet nerd with a really strong moral compass. He was still everything he was before, it seemed. Tommy was a little amused at Barry’s ability to hold a grudge still being there, even if he did feel bad about the situation.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know what to say. So he said the first thing that came to mind. “It’s just kind of nice to know that some things never change.”  
  
“I’m guessing you’ve changed?” Barry huffed. “I can’t see it.”

“They don’t exactly let impulsive idiots slice and dice.”  
  
Barry snorted. “Did you really just call your job _slicing and dicing_? You haven’t changed at all. Kudos on the self-awareness though.” When the coffee was finished brewing, he passed Tommy a mug but stayed leaned up against the counter with his own.

“Are you a CSI now?” Tommy nodded to Barry’s badge.  
  
“Ugh, no.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m just an assistant.”  
  
Tommy crossed the room to stand beside him. “You sound disappointed with that.” 

“It’s just kind of frustrating,” he admitted. “I love my job, really I do. I just wonder if I’m doing anything with my degree, or helping people like I wanted. I graduated early, with honors and I’ve been working there for about three years. I’m the only person in my section so I get the lab to myself but I’m doing most of the work and only getting paid an assistant’s salary--why am I telling you this?”  
  
“You missed me.” Tommy grinned triumphantly.  
  
Barry scoffed and moved to the sink to set his mug in it. “Typical.” He knew Tommy always chose the option to joke when things got too tense or uncomfortable. He just couldn’t take it at the moment, not when everything was so fresh again.

“What?”

“You left me, Tommy. After Ollie’s funeral. I was crying, and I asked you to stay with me and you just took off. Of course, I fucking missed you, asshole. I couldn’t just pull out my dad’s credit card and get the first flight to Chicago. I was here, someone had to be there for Thea. Someone had to be there for Laurel, and Sara.”  
  
“Hey, I was just--”

“So don’t you _dare_ sit here and act all miffed that I missed you.” Barry shrugged away when Tommy tried to place his hand on his shoulder. “I missed you every day for _years_. Every birthday, every fucking time Oliver’s death date rolled around I was wondering where our best friend was when I visited his grave with Laurel-- so don’t--”

Tommy sighed, slowly dropping his hand from the air. “I was a coward, I’m sorry.”

Barry sighed and rubbed his face. “Why are you in town? Why now?”

A silence hung between them, making the air feel heavy. “I don’t know,” the confession rolled smoothly. “I started dreaming about you, and I don’t know-- something told me to find you.” his eyes fell on Barry. “I wasn’t lying when I said you were the reason I was here.”

Barry crossed his arms. “Whatever.”

“I'm being honest. I had a dream the other night, about when I was complaining about how close you and Iris were.” He didn’t know what he could say to make Barry trust him again; if that was even possible.

Barry turned around to wash his mug. “You can stay here, but I’m going to bed.” He headed across the room to a closet and pulled out a blanket and a pillow. He dropped them onto the sofa. “Goodnight, Tommy.”

“Night, Barr.” Tommy stood in the kitchen, taking another look around the apartment. While he knew Barry had changed a lot in the last few years, this apartment didn’t have a single hint of Barry. It made him sad in a way, and he wondered what kind of life Barry was living now. He was just going to have to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Stitches, mentions of loss, fighting.]]


	2. A Flash, Pain, and Nothing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy seems to be sticking around and things are going well; for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Notes: I know it took me 100 years to update, sorry! I love this fic and I'm hoping to finish soon. I kind of accidently ignored Robert also cheating on his wife to write this chapter? I really couldn't think of another way to go about a plot point, so sorry about that. I also played around with Thea & Tommy's platonic relationship. Figured might as well go all out for this A haha. Hope you enjoy! (:  
> Warning: End notes]

When Barry returned from his lunch break, Tommy stood leaned up against one of the high shelves. “You vanished this morning,” he accused. One hand rubbed his chin. “Are you possibly … avoiding me?” a hint of a smirk on his lips.  
  
Barry could see that he did seem genuinely let down, at least in some capacity. That didn’t stop him from being annoyed though. Who was he to talk about being left? “I have a job, Tommy. I didn’t just sit around for years.” He began to set a few things up on his computer. “Also, don’t lean on that. Those chemicals are dangerous.”

“You’re going to laugh at me, but I actually asked for Officer Allen when I came in. You should have seen the look on that blond detective’s face. Like I’d asked him to do quantum physics.”  
  
Barry started to move around a few open windows on his computer. He stopped to type a few notes into one of them. Tommy glanced briefly but figured it was classified, so he didn’t linger. As Barry continued to avoid responding, he felt a bit weaker. “The blond is Eddie Thawne.” he replied casually, not wanting to press into anything about himself. “He’s a great detective so I’m surprised he let you in so easy.”  
  
“I flirted my way in.” He grinned cheekily and leaned on the rack to his left. “I’m joking. I told him we were old friends, and he was excited to meet me.”

He knew Tommy was just joking, but he didn’t laugh. The room was silent again as Barry got up and went to adjust some machinery. Starting to place a few vials into the centrifuge, which once activated served as the only sound in the room for the moment. “You know, I’m really proud of you, Barr.” there was the hint of a smile in his voice that Barry could pick up without needing to look at him.   
  
“I’m glad you did something good with your life too,” Barry looked up to meet his eyes, smiling a little. Tommy had a way of wearing him down, and it was something he’d always had a love-hate relationship with. He was still hurt by Tommy’s vanishing act all those years ago. Nothing would change that, but Barry thought maybe Tommy could be here for good.   
  
After all, he’d showed up at his work, hadn’t he? Tommy didn’t have a bad bone in his body, either. He was ignorant, and hard-headed at times but he had a good heart. He knew Tommy had gone through hell when Oliver died, it wasn’t just him. He really hoped things could be better from here.  
  
At the very least, he hoped they would be stable. A straight line they could walk, catch up and mend things. So they could meet in the middle. Barry really liked the idea of that. He wasn’t sure about the practice though.   
  
“I’m trying to finish stuff so I don’t miss the Particle Accelerator.” Barry suddenly realised, quickly moving to turn on the television. Brad Park stood in front of S.T.A.R. Labs, detailing the specifics of the project. He sighed and shook his head when she apparently said something incorrect. “It’s protons, not eletrons, can’t blame her really though. It’s on whoever wrote his script. Brad covers sports. I love his stuff, but he’s better with math than science.”   
  
“Alright,” Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “So what is this thing? Why are you so invested?”   
  
“Why am I so invested?” Barry demanded, moving towards Tommy. “This is the discovery of the _century,_ Tommy. It’s like … Imagine everything we know about everything we know science could be contained on the surface of a dime. Using that scale, what we could learn from the particle accelerator could fill a bank vault.”

Tommy nodded as he tilted his head towards Barry a little more. “Oh?” he seemed interested. “How exactly?”  
  
“Well, they have this pipeline and it’s full of pods that--” Barry launched into a detailed account of how, theoretically, the particle accelerator would work.   
  
Barry stopped when he saw Tommy grinning. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he frowned.   
  
Tommy laughed softly. “Man, Barr, I _really_ missed you.” his tone was endearing, but definitely had an edge.   
  
“Don’t.” Barry held up a finger, trying to be firm, but he was smiling too.   
  
“You’re the most adorable nerd I’ve ever met.” he was smiling like he’d made a joke, but the words were genuine.

“Hey!” Barry crossed his arms. “If I’m a nerd then you’re also a nerd.”  
  
Tommy snorted. “I am not a nerd.”   
  
“Then what are you, Mr. body-science-man?”   
  
Tommy scoffed in mock offence. “I am an ER doctor. I work in an ER. You work on dead people, and study decomposition.”   
  
“I love how you’re pretending to not know your actual title. I really trust you as doctor. You used to love how nerdy I am when we were in high school.”

Tommy’s mouth dried up at that accusation, even if he knew what Barry meant, the words took him off guard. “In high school I put my dicks in things I shouldn’t on dares.” he shot back, eager to deflect and hope Barry didn’t see him falter.  
  
Barry scrunched up his face. “Good god. I’d almost forgotten about the salsa. You cried for hours.” 

“I was an idiot,” he laughed softly. “Luckily you saved me from the worst of it.”

Barry looked at Tommy for a second before looking back down at his work. “Yeah.” Barry was having vivid memories of stopping Tommy from picking a fight with the Quarterback of the football team.   
  
“All joking aside, Barry.” he said, looking up to meet Barry’s eye. “Can I say something crazy and embarrassing?”   
  
Barry seemed surprised by the tone shift but nodded once. “Of course you can.”

Tommy wasn’t expecting that. “I genuinely missed you. I think, before Ollie died … those were some of the best years of my life. With the three of us.”

Barry sighed and threw an arm around his shoulders. “I missed you too, Tommy.”  
  
Tommy touched his hand. “I know I left you, and I’m sorry.”

Barry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “We were kids, Tommy. We were barely eighteen when Oliver died. I was mad for a while, and yeah it dug up some old stuff when you showed up but-- we didn’t know what we were doing. They don’t teach us how to deal with grief in school.”  
  
“Yeah, but I still just left. I think I thought that becoming a doctor would fix whatever happened, but it didn’t. It didn’t bring my best friend back and I was stupid to think it would.”   
  
“You weren’t stupid.” Barry said firmly. “Everyone deals with grief in their own way, maybe that was just what you needed. It wasn’t fair of me to put my stuff on you too; I know how close you and Ollie were.”   
  
“Well,” Tommy started, avoiding his eyes. “I should probably go look for a hotel in town.”   
  
“Don’t be stupid, you’re staying with me.” Barry crossed his arms. He really did have a hard time staying mad at Tommy, huh? Between the distant texts and the once a year birthday phone calls that he always made sure went to voicemail. He hated it, but Tommy was owning up now, so that had to mean _something_ , right?

* * *

To Barry’s surprise, Tommy stayed for a week, and that week turned into two. They spent so much time together, and it was almost like nothing had changed … Tommy felt like home again.  
  
Home hadn’t been places to Barry in a long time. He didn’t think of his apartment as home, and more of a place where he slept. To him home was with the Wests, and now once again, with Tommy.

The air was heavy when Tommy leaned in. He stopped when he felt something wet on his face. He pulled away, quickly snapping out of it. They were sitting in the crime lab a bit late into the night. Barry hadn’t come back to the apartment so Tommy decided to come in with dinner and bother him. Things had gotten a bit closer and Tommy wasn’t thinking. _You can’t just kiss Barry, idiot._ He thought to himself but his thoughts drifted to the leak in the roof. The rain shifted from a drizzle to pouring in seconds.   
  
The two men quickly moved towards the chain that would pull the skylight shut. It was usually open, as Barry often worked with chemicals that couldn’t be used in an enclosed area. He felt the pain in his hands in the same moment that Barry was flung backwards into the table. He left the skylight abandoned to rush to his side.   
  
His fingers, somehow the only part of his hand left unburned felt for a pulse. Nothing. There was nothing. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. “I have an adult male, struck but lightning. No pulse. The third floor of Central City Police Department. I need a medic ASAP. Chest compressions started at ... 10:47PM.” he closed on hand over the other and began to thrust the heel of his hand into Barry’s chest at a steady rhythm. “Come on, Barr. You gotta fight for me, okay? Hang in there.” This wasn’t going to be like _that_ , Tommy thought helplessly. This wasn’t going to be like when Oliver died.   
  
After Tommy had continued his efforts for two minutes, Barry inhaled sharply but didn’t regain consciousness. He checked for a pulse again and found one. “He’s breathing again, heartbeat has returned.” he told the responder on the other line. 

When the paramedics finally arrived, Barry was rushed out, and Tommy found himself correcting the paramedics who were trying to wheel him in. The last time he was in the back of an ambulance, Oliver died. He couldn’t let that happen again. “Sir,” said one of the paramedics. “You need to let us do our job.”

He called Iris when he got to the hospital, using Barry’s phone. It was hard to imagine being in a situation like this. When she arrived, Tommy had enough time to collect himself and put on his doctor face.  
  
“What happened? Where’s Barry?"

“He was struck by lightning, Iris.” he began to explain, trying to ground himself so he wasn’t too panicked. “They’re working on him now. He went into cardiac arrest, and I brought him back. His heart stopped again, and now he’s got an arrhythmia and he’s comatose.”  
  
Iris stuttered and tried to collect herself. “What does that mean? When is he going to wake up?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Tommy said gently, reaching out to offer a comforting touch. “They’re intubating him now-- that’s where they put the tube down his trachea so he can breathe.” Tommy tried to be clinical about it, for his own sake, but also was sure he would have to walk her through it. “When that is done, they’re going to bring him into a room in the ICU. 

A man approached Tommy then. Michael Holt, he recognized him from med school. They did their rotations together. “Tommy, we’re getting your friend moved now. They’ve just issued a state of emergency for the city. Can you help us?”

“Of course,” he looked at Iris. “Iris, go with Doctor Holt, he’s going to take you to Barry, and he can answer further questions.”

They put Tommy to work, his first case was a girl, not much older than Thea who had a large shard of glass in her arm. “Hello, my name is Doctor Merlyn. I’m going to get this glass out of your arm and stitch you up. I promise it will be quick and you won’t feel a thing.”

“Are you sure?”

“When I was a kid, I got into tons of messes like this.” Tommy gave her a small smile. “I’ve been patched up many times, and I’m a big baby.” he got a local anesthetic. “You’ll feel two little stings and then you should feel nothing else. Are you ready?”  
  
The girl nodded and closed her eyes tightly, and he slowly stuck the needle into her arm. She hissed and Tommy apologised, slowly pushing the solution into her. “One more,” he assured her as he moves underneath the glass to give her a second shot. He gently touched above her arm. “You shouldn’t feel anything, but if you do, speak up, okay?” He began to gently prod the area around the forgein object. When she seemed fine, he slowly began extracting the glass. "There we go."

"It's out?"

"Yeah! It's gone. Thanks for being a trooper. I'm just going to stitch you up a bit." he explained before starting to work on that, she needed about eight stitches. When the wound was closed he covered it and sent the little girl along to the TDAP vaccine clinic the hospital had set up for a tetanus booster.

He moved onto the next patient as quickly as he could. A large man who's shoulder was dislocated. He was not as composed as the child, however he didn't pass judgement. He popped the shoulder back in with little issue and moved on to the next patient.  
  
He headed down the hall, following one of the nurses down to a final patient. Whom was rather easy to deal with. It wasn’t anything too serious.

It was four in the morning by the time he returned to Barry. Iris was silently watching over him, he gently put an arm around her shoulders and she shrugged away. “Don’t touch me.” she said rather frimley, with a bite that cut him deep.  
  
He kept his distance, he didn’t have the energy to argue with her. It was then that he looked down at his hands and finally noticed one of them had thick scarring over his palm which hadn’t been there before. Scar tissue didn’t form that fast, he knew for a fact. He decided to focus on that another time.

“Iris--”  
  
“No. What is wrong with you? The second things get hard you run.” She move to sit down by Barry’s bedside. “Why are you even here?”   
  
“Central City has declared a state of emergency, Iris. I’m not even technically supposed to be practicing outside of Illinois.” he tried to explain. “but people are dying, Iris, I have to do my job.” He approached Barry’s bedside and squeezed his arm, careful of the burns on his palms. “Hey, Barr.” his tone changed in a way that Iris picked up on easily. “I have to do some rounds but I’ll be back to see you in a bit.”

Iris watched him leave before returning her attention to Barry. “He’s a dumbass.” she sighed and ran her hand over Barry’s hair. “Come on, Barr. You gotta pull through this.”  
  
Tommy returned to the front lines of the crisis, being pulled in every direction by other doctors and nurses. He treated twenty-five patients in total before he returned to Barry’s room and found Iris asleep at his bedside.   
  
He pulled off his jacket and set it over Iris’s shoulders before taking a seat on the other side of Barry. Hunkering down and determined to see Barry through this. He knew Barry would pull through, wouldn’t he?” Barry was stubborn, and had too much stuff to do to let a coma take him. Tommy’s heart told him that Barry would be fine, but Tommy’s mind and training knew that the next twenty-four hours were crucial and Barry’s fate was up in the air.

* * *

  
Tommy entered Jitters on an impossibly busy Tuesday morning. Surprisingly, Iris saw a young girl by his side. Barely seventeen. She raised her eyebrows. The girl looked _young_ . Too young.   
  
“Hey, Tommy.” She searched his face for any reaction to her side eyeing the child beside him.   
  
“Hey, Iris! Can I get a double espresso and -- Speedy, what’s your coffee order?” Tommy asked, glancing down at the girl.   
  
_Oh!_ Iris knew of Speedy. So, now she understood who this girl was. Her concern faded, however the confusion remained. What was Thea Queen doing in Central City with Tommy? Didn’t she need to be in school? She was sure there was ten years between them; which would make her fifteen, sixteen at the oldest.   
  
Thea rolled her eyes and looked at Iris. “Can I get a caramel macchiato?”   
  
“Sure,” Iris smiled. “I’m Iris by the way, it’s nice to meet you, Thea.”   
  
“Oh, I thought you already met,” Tommy admitted. “Sorry, Thea this is Barry’s best friend.”   
  
“I know who she is. Barry always tells me how pretty she is and he’s right.” She smiled a little and Tommy ushered her to a table.   
  
“I’ve got her for the weekend.”   
  
“You, babysitting?” she cocked an eyebrow at him. “Should I come over on Sunday and make sure she’s still alive?”   
  
“Ha _ha_ ,” he passed her his credit card. “Daddy’s card? I thought you were a bigshot doctor now?” She teased him as she scanned it.  
  
“There’s been some … family drama.” he trailed off. “My dad can buy our coffee today.”   
  
Iris paused. “Is everything okay?” 

“Of course. Everything's fine. You know the drill.” His tone wasn't comforting.  
  
He went to sit at a table with Thea but they didn’t speak. Iris knew from Barry that that was unusual. They didn’t even look at each other. Once Iris prepared their orders she brought them over. “So, Thea. What grade are you in now?”   
  
Thea looked up from her phone. “What? Oh, thanks! I’m a Freshman! I just started high school and it’s amazing. My uniform is kind of ugly, but what can you do?”   
  
The girl seemed eager to talk to _someone_ so she wondered what was causing her to be so silent with Tommy and why he seemed fine with it. She decided to take her break then and go see Barry. She didn’t know what to do so she just gave Tommy’s shoulder a squeeze. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I don’t know what I would do if I had to wear a uniform in high school. Tommy, you should bring Thea to family dinner tonight?”   
  
“Will Barry be there?” Thea perked up again.   
  
“I--” She looked at Tommy, unsure of how he hadn’t told her even after a month.   
  
Tommy spoke up. “We need to talk about that when we get home, okay?” Tommy patted Thea’s hand and she shrugged away.   
  
“Whatever. I want to see Barry.”   
  
“You can’t, honey.” Iris said with a sad smile. “You should go home with Tommy.”

* * *

When Tommy and Thea returned to the apartment that Tommy had been renting about two blocks from S.T.A.R. Labs he knew Thea was upset with him at this point. “Where’s Barry?”  
  
He closed his for a second, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t sure how to explain the situation to Thea. This was his job, but how was he supposed to tell Thea Queen that Barry was comatose, after everything. “Thea, about a month ago Barry got hurt really bad.”   
  
“No.”   
  
Tommy reached out to her. “I’m sorry, Thea. He’s been comatose for about a month.”   
  
“Why doesn’t anyone in this family tell me anything?” Thea demanded. “Do you have any idea what that’s like?” she tried to fight the tears welling up in her eyes. “You didn’t tell me Barry was hurt for a _month_ ?”   
  
His hand came to rest on her shoulder. “I didn’t know how to tell you, I didn’t know you and Barry were close.”   
  
“Does everyone in my life just lie to me?” Thea was done trying to compose herself, her hands balling up into fists at her sides. So hard they trembled. “You know I found out how Oliver really died a year ago? I found out from a shitty fucking clickbait article online that my brother died choking on his own fucking vomit! Do you have any idea what it was like to read that?” Her chest was rising and falling with laboured shaky breaths. She wanted Tommy to listen to her for five seconds. She wanted _someone_ to just listen. Or look at her for five seconds. “and now you’re my _brother_ and Barry’s in a coma? _What the fuck Tommy_?”

“Thea,” Tommy said seriously. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Barry, but you were seven when Oliver died. We couldn’t tell you that he drank himself to death. You were a child-- you’re still a child.”  
  
“I should have heard it from you or mom, and I should have heard this from you too. Why does everyone treat me like I can’t handle anything and ignore me?”   
  
“Thea--”   
  
“I knew something was wrong when he stopped replying to my emails, but I thought he was just … I don’t know. Working.” Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.   
  
“It’s going to be okay, Thea. I’m sorry.” he said softly. “I don’t know how to fix this.

* * *

Dinner was awkward of course. Thea and Iris mostly talked with Tommy and Joe making very awkward small talk. “Can you help me with some of the charts Dr. Snow faxed me?” Joe asked him suddenly.  
  
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll have a look at them this week and try to break them down,” he focused on Grandma Esther’s noodle dish. “It’s really simple once you break down the big doctor words.”   
  
“Thea,” Iris suddenly interrupted. “You like art history, right? My dad’s got an old record player upstairs and a ton of old jaz records.”   
  
“Oh, really?” Thea smiled. “My dad has a huge record player in his study.”   
  
Joe could tell that Iris was trying to get him and Thea out of the room, and he wasn’t about to argue with her. “Yeah, I could show you.”   
  
When they were gone, Iris met Tommy’s gaze. “Spill.” it was an order, not a question. “Why is Thea refusing to speak to you? Why are you letting her?”   
  
“Thea is staying with me while Mr. and Mrs. Queen figure some things out.” he explained. “I don’t want her there while they’re fighting and I’m sure as hell not leaving her with dad.”   
  
Iris frowned. “I wouldn’t want her in that environment either. Why are they fighting?” She tried to be sympathetic, that couldn’t have been easy to deal with.   
  
“Because it sort of just came out that Mr. Queen isn’t Thea’s father. Mine is. We’re half-siblings.” He looked down at his plate, not sure he wanted to talk about it, so he slipped into a joke. “I hope she’s more Moira though, my dad sure knows how to make fuck ups.”

“How do you feel about it?” Iris could tell that even Tommy wasn't feeling that joke. She didn't comment though, she just moved on.  
  
“I think Thea and I both feel … betrayed. They’ve both known since she was about two.” He scratched the back of his head, trying to figure out what Iris’s angle was.   
  
Iris nodded thoughtfully, trying to tread carefully. She couldn’t relate to something like this, but she could be sympathetic. “And how do you feel about Thea being your sister?”   
  
“What kind of question is that?” Tommy leaned back slightly in his chair. “She’s _Speedy_ . Does it really matter? What matters is that they lied to us.”   
  
Iris paused for a moment. “I think it’s important that Thea knows that right now. You two need each other, especially with…” she couldn’t say Barry’s name right now.   
  
“I know.” He shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure if she's willing to talk to me though."

* * *

“Are we talking?” Tommy asked as he shut the apartment door behind him and Thea.  
  
Thea heaved a sigh and turned to face him. “I don’t know, are you just going to lie to me?”  
  
“No. If you have questions you can ask me.”   
  
“Really? Fine. Yeah. I’ve got some. Why won’t anyone listen to me? Or talk to me? Why can’t you just--” her voice was a strained whisper.   
  
Tommy stepped forward and folded Thea up in his arms, he tried to think of what Barry would say. He was always good at making things better. “I’m sorry. You’re old enough to know things. I’m sorry things aren’t better for you, but I’m going to be better.”   
  
“I hate them.” She whispered low against his shirt.   
  
He couldn’t tell Thea how to feel right now. “I know.”   
  
“Nothings different though, right? You don’t hate me?”   
  
“Never.” and he kissed the top of her head. There were more things to deal with, things to talk about, but right now he was tired. They both were, Thea even more than him. So he needed to focus on that. “Do you want to go see Barry tomorrow?”   
  
“I don’t know.”   
  
“That’s okay.” He pulled back a bit and gave her a small smile. “Now, I think we should go out and track down some cookies. Or a cake. Actually, let's get a whole cake and some chips and watch some bad sitcoms.”   
  
“That sounds pretty good, I guess.”   
  
Tommy was hurting too, of course he was, but he had to himself for Thea now. He needed to find some sense of normal after everything the last few months had thrown at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Medical emergencies, lighting strike, grief, trauma, graphic discussions of alcohol related death.]]


End file.
